Faith Like A Child

As many of you may remember Maddy asked Jesus into her heart last Easter. Here is a link to her video in which we shared the great news.   It is my favorite video of Maddy. Well, she has asked to be baptized several times over the last few months.  Austin and I have waited to make sure she fully grasp the concepts and when we felt the timing was right.  Well, I have to be honest...I am convinced she knows more about the bible than I did at 20. And she has such a child-like faith I am always amazed at some of our conversations.
Here is our conversation today at dinner.
In between bites, Maddy says:  "Mommy, I'm okay if I die before Jack.  Because I know I'm going to heaven but Jack doesn't know about Jesus yet."
Mom:  "Mommy feels the same way. But I would be sad, because I would miss dad, Drew, Jack and you very much."  (I started tearing up just thinking about it).
And Maddy went on to say: "Well, okay, maybe when I am 20. "
Mom:  "I hope it is after your 20s because I hope daddy and I get to go to your wedding."
In which Maddy replied: "Don't worry, mom. I'll invite you"
That was the comic relief I needed:)  Well, then she replied "How old are you?"
Mom:  "I'm 32."
Maddy. "Okay, I'd be okay dying when I'm 32."
Well, at this moment Drew interrupted us.  And he said "Mom, after I go to bed, sometimes I can't breathe. So, I pick my nose. Then I can breathe and I feel much better."

Seriously. This is my dinner conversation at dinner tonight.  My emotions were all over the place.  And now a few hours later I'm writing this post and realizing my conversation with Maddy wasn't over.  I have to talk to her tomorrow because I want her to keep that child-like faith and fearless living.....because our days are numbered.  And none of us know whether we will live the next day, the next hour, the next minute. 
Well, I've learned that nothing is "coincidental".  Because after we put the kids down, I picked up the book I'm reading Crazy Love By Francis Chan.  And the chapter I'm on is called "You Might Not Finish This Chapter".  I could quote the whole chapter...actually the whole book. I love it that much.  But here is one quote that references Frederick Buechner "Intellectually we all know that we will die, but we do not really know it in the sense that the knowledge becomes a part of us.  We do not really know it in the sense of living as though it were true.  On the contrary, we tend to live as though our lives would go on forever." 
Well, this concept has been on my thoughts for a while.  Last year I felt like I was spiritually cruising through life just enjoying the "good life" as a Christian. Attending church (but not getting much out of the sermons), surrounding myself around good Christian friends, serving in ministries and getting comfortable with this Christian life.  And last summer I just felt this sense that something wasn't right.  So, I remember sharing with Austin that when our life is over I want to know we did all that we can to do God's work.  And that's when God closed all these doors (serving at MOPS, our small group finished our 2 year commitment, etc) I felt it was clear that we needed to look for another church.  And this was hard because our church was our church family in many ways (Austin's family went there and all of our close friends).  I honestly wanted to keep going to the church mainly because our children would see their grandparents there every week.  You should see their joy every time they see Papaw and Mamaw checking them into the Sunday school each week.  It was priceless.  We knew almost everyone at the church and everyone loved on our children.
Well, Austin and I made a step out of our comfort zone and started "church shopping". We were blessed because the first church we went to turned out to be great.  I looked forward to going to church each Sunday to learn and grow. And my children are learning so much each week!  Although it would have been "easier" to stay at our old church. We really did make a choice to do this for our family and for an eternal perspective.
I believe since we were willing to make that first step God opened and closed opportunities for us and was working in our lives.  For example, I left for work one day and Austin texted me whether I was going to quit work. And I replied no. I was getting paid well, worked very minimal hours and the work was easy. Why would I quit?  But when I was at the office that day I felt like things happened that made it obvious that I needed to quit.  So, I resigned....which was the hardest conversation I have ever had. 
In addition to this, last May, I made a hard decision not to return to a steering position at the BR MOPS group.  And by November I realized I didn't like just attending the meeting. I wanted to serve (not necessarily in MOPS but somehow).  So, I asked my table to pray for a clear and obvious answer on what I needed to be doing in January, since I quit my job, I was planning on quitting the BR MOPS group and I was done watching Ava.  And that day, I came home to a post it note on my door. It was from a friend, Marte. She simply wrote: Call me.  So, I did. She asked me to pray about being a co-coordinator for my old IC MOPS group.  I had left the group 3 years ago to help start the BR MOPS group. It wasn't really the opportunity I was expecting. In fact, Maria had mentioned if I would consider being their MOPS coordinator last summer and I just laughed at her.  Well, I prayed about it and have accepted the position and will be the co-coordinator of a MOPS group next year.  Now who's laughing!:) 
So, here is where I am. I believe I was living a "lukewarm" life as a Christian but am hoping to get out of the "comfort zone".  And since then God has worked in our lives in so many ways.  I wanted to share this just in case you are where I was a year ago.  I still often make mistakes and often take the "easier" route in daily decision.  And I am by no means doing everything right. But I don't want to be comfortable here on earth.  And I don't want to live as though my life would go on forever.
This last year has been a great year of growth.  So, I hope you can learn from my experience.  And if you want a good book to read, I recommend Crazy Love.  I'm reading the book now and it portray so many of my thoughts and passion in this last year.